This fourth wall–breaking middle-grade collection of spooky, scary, and spoopy stories for fans of Lemony Snicket and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark might just help you survive the night in a house full of vampires.
STORIES TO KEEP YOU ALIVE DESPITE VAMPIRES
by Ben Acker
Simon & Schuster BYR, August 2022
(via Writers House)
If you are reading this book, then you must be trapped in that spooky house with those vampires. Sorry about that. But! You might just make it out if you manage to tell them one scary story each night in accordance with standard vampire rules. Don’t know any scary stories? Good thing you found this book! Every tale in this tome is true…more or less (more more than less).
You get a little bit of everything in this monster mash: from hitchhiking phantoms to women in white, a carnivore beast that loves a good vacation to a haunted mannequin with a bug problem, killer phones, concerned werewolves, you name it. Everything you need to keep those vampires on the edge of their seats—and well away from your neck.
But beware…don’t get too comfortable. Names have power, and if you whisper about too many things in the dark, they might just hear you.
Ben Acker is best known as the cocreator and writer of The Thrilling Adventure Hour, a monthly comedic variety stage show and podcast in the style of old-timey radio. That would have been enough. Acker has written for television, comic books, and actual radio. STORIES TO KEEP YOU ALIVE DESPITE VAMPIRES is his first book about defeating vampires with the power of storytelling.
Sixteen-year-old Joan Sands is a gifted craftswoman who creates and upkeeps the stage blades for William Shakespeare’s acting company, The King’s Men. Joan’s skill with her blades comes from a magical ability to control metal—an ability gifted by her Head Orisha, Ogun. Because her whole family is Orisha-blessed, the Sands family have always kept tabs on the Fae presence in London. Usually that doesn’t involve much except noting the faint glow around a Fae’s body as they try to blend in with London society, but lately, there has been an uptick in brutal Fae attacks. After Joan wounds a powerful Fae and saves the son of a cruel Lord, she is drawn into political intrigue in the human and Fae worlds. 
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All the world is a puzzle, and 28-year-old Mike Brink—a celebrated and ingenious puzzle constructor—understands its patterns like no one else. Once a promising football star, he was transformed by a traumatic brain injury that caused a rare (but real) medical condition: Sudden Acquired Savant Syndrome. The injury left him with a mental superpower—he can solve puzzles, calculate equations, and see patterns in ways the rest of us can’t. But his condition has also left him damaged: he feels deeply isolated because of his talent, and unable to fully connect with other people. Puzzle-solving has become Mike Brink’s only way to manage his gift and maintain emotional well-being.