In ALL ALONE, Coplan distills over 30 years worth of psychological research on solitude into an accessible, approachable, and endlessly applicable work of popular science.
ALL ALONE
How to Improve Your Relationship with Solitude and Find Your Personal Balance
by Dr. Robert Coplan
Simon & Schuster, early 2025
(via The Whalen Agency)
ALL ALONE works against the myth that being alone is necessarily equivalent to being lonely or being antisocial, instead it argues for an understanding of solitude as a natural, necessary, and beneficial part of a healthy human life. It is a guidebook on how to approach solitude in a healthy way and how to best strike a balance between solitude and socialization at home, in the workplace, in our romantic relationships, as parents, and at different life stages.
After years of people writing passionate essays about the assumed positive value of time alone, it is only in the last few years that researchers have actually been able to produce tangible evidence of such effects. Coplan’s research has contributed to such breakthroughs in the study of solitude including:
• The (somewhat paradoxical) notion that spending time alone helps our relationships with others
• A preliminary finding that spending time alone on your phone can interfere with the positive impacts of solitude
• The finding that children, adolescents, and adults who report that they are not getting enough solitude) tend to report heightened stress, negative moods, and symptoms of depression
• And much more …
In the end, Coplan hopes that by fostering a healthy relationship with solitude, we will come to better understand ourselves, our relationships with others, and our relationship with the world around us.
As a developmental psychologist with over 30 years of experience, Dr. Robert Coplan is a well-established expert in the study of solitude. He has participated in interviews with The New York Times, The Atlantic, NPR, Vox, Psychology Today, WebMd, and VICE among others and has co-authored five books and hundreds of academic articles on topics ranging from childhood shyness to solitude in adulthood to social withdrawal.
You have probably said « yes » to bosses, partners, family, friends, and even strangers, when you actually want to say « no. » Maybe you wish you could say no more often, but you’re not sure how or if it’s even possible to do so. You’re not alone! We’re taught to say yes as often as we can. After all, if you say no, aren’t you likely to miss out on opportunities and sever important relationships? Isn’t saying no a harmony-buster?
As the speed of change in our increasingly complex world accelerates daily, leaders are tasked with performing outside of their familiar zones both in their personal and professional lives. This requires us to adapt. Yet, the same conditions that make adapting so important can also trigger fear, leading us to resist change and default to reactive behavior. The authors call this the “adaptability paradox”: when we most need to learn and change, we stick with what we know, often in ways that stifle learning and innovation. To avoid this trap, leaders must become proactive so they can lead ahead of the curve.
Dr. Nicholas Kardaras is at the forefront of researchers sounding the alarm about the impact of excessive technology on younger brains. In Glow Kids, he described what screen time does to children, calling it “digital heroin”. Now, in DIGITAL MADNESS, Dr. Kardaras turns his attention to our teens and young adults.
In a world with an endless hunger for innovation, why is it so hard to create audacious change? According to thought leader Seth Goldenberg, the answer to this question stems from how we, as a society, view questions themselves.